NAME: XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX
What is your current position and which office do you work in?
I have been standing on one leg for an hour with my nose facing south and will change this position some time in the afternoon. I will start to cluck shortly before this happens so you can all have your cameras ready.
What are the main functions of your role?
Fixing the thinking machines. One day they will be smarter than us and you all will be redundent. I can only bide my time and hope that my years of service unlocking network accounts and defragging hard drives allow me to be spared when our techno overlords eradicate the species.
How long have you been with Wesfarmers?
I feel as if I've always been here, perhaps I have - this is the first job I've had since the accident and my memory is still shot.
What do you find most rewarding about working for WID?
They dont beat me here. The people are slightly less ugly. It's very open and inclusive; nobody seems to mind the fact that I'm a complete and utter Slamdog (oh yea thats me thats me look at me the slam and the dog in one yea yea yea slameddy dog slammedy schlam schlam schlamarroooo ba ba ba )
If you could change one thing about working here, what would it be?
Probably my underwear. See my next answer for more details...
What cheeses you off?
Hahaha imagine if you wrote "What Jesus you off" there by mistake, people would think you mad and you'd get in awful trouble. I dont mind I dont mind tho. I get annoyed that my masturbation cycle is being seriously disrupted. It needs to happen every 43 minutes or I get groin ache and cramps - I have a note from my doctor for crap sake!
What are your hobbies?
I just love bee keeping, weeping and staring at sheep while I'm eating. I also collect stumps (aka make friends with people who have had amputations – its a big online thing)
What is your favourite thing to do on the weekend?
I get naked and chase rats in my basement.
Where did you go on your last holiday?
I went to the small island of Balumpapapa in the indian ocean. Its basically just a mound of sand with a call center on it. Got lots of sun and ate lots of brisket. Did the needful...those call center girls are as dumb as badgers and up for anything - espically if they know they're getting brisket afterwards.
