WARLORDS OF PEZ

The warlords of pez are intergalactic rock gods who touched down upon the earth in mullingar last saturday night. Wired was I to get sum of their lyrics which I will frame in my rumpus room soon enuf.

The Story So Far

You move into a nice new house only to find that the last fcukwit who was in the house didnt bother to pay their telephone bill. The fcukwit telephone company wont disconnect the line so I cant get DSL in and I'm not going paying the last guys charges. The fcukwits at eircom who manage the lines get all the evidance they require to disconnect it and never bother getting back to me.
As a result, like a complete and total fcukwit I went and ordered wireless broadband for myself. Cant wait to see how it works out.

the concept

Before he drank and opium smoked himself to a massive stroke, Charles Pierre Baudelaire said:

"There can be no progress (real, that is, moral) except in the individual and by the individual himself"

he was on to something

FRESH PÂTÉ

: : UPDATED : :
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LINKY

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KEROUAC

I must re-read 'On the road' again. Its one of those books that rewards such endeavors. I really like this interview, I was expecting the host to be a twat but he puts Kerouac at ease and gets a good performance out of him.

Cursed Sleep

Bonnie "Prince" Billy is Will Oldham. Will Oldham is a genius. This is the video for his new single 'cursed sleep' it has falcons and a fight with ET. Class.

Concert Review : Lambchop - Galway Arts Festival - Thursday 27 July 2006

I didn't think the setting of the Radisson SAS Hotel Ballroom was a venue that suited this band and they seemed to agree with references to "being reduced to playing the hotel circuit". They seemed to be in good humor otherwise and really got into the songs. I'm pretty confident the 'chop have a large following in Ireland because people were trying to outdo each other near the end shouting requests for obscure material, tho a call for them to play "up with people" got cheers from everybody in the room.
They played a lot of new material from the unreleased album "damaged" which on initial impression sounds like an improvement on their last release, the double album "aw c'mon / no you c'mon". To my ears that release sounded a bit contrived and the fact that they played no songs from it seems to indicate that they may think so too. Great versions of "Nashville Parents", "My Blue Wave" and "The militant" put me in an immensely good humor and kept singing the line 'and I guess it's right to love the girls who fight off our manly acts of desperation' from "The Daily Growl" to myself like a bloody mantra afterwards on the way to the pub.
They are a band that I will have to see again in a setting they are more comfortable with but this particular concert was worth waiting for. They got a standing ovation at the end too. You cant get much better than that...

Moltovational ideas

Check this out
The titlebar across the top of the main page with all his positive thinking quotes annoys me. There is no justice in the world that I don't have a similar website with some of my own brilliant observations..

Smugness is it's own reward

A reasonable man is a fist full of sand.

The sky's the limit until you run out of oxygen so really its the troposphere that's the limit tho i hear its pretty cold but still thinking in a positive upward direction has its merits even if it is implausible in reality

Fustration and resentment : It's their wedding and you're the best man.

Do the needful before the needful does you

Then the blurb about me:

Molton Boron, Author of "How to stop worrying and accept that this world and everyone in it are trying to suffocate any joy and hope you could ever have for life...and it's all your fault" brings his motivational programs online for the benefit of people with more money than sense everywhere.

Cartoons

yea, i got skillz

Time for molton to start getting hexcited?

Nice cover, 10 min work on ms paint (.net)???

It's not that I'm lazy, it's just that you're not worth the effort.

1. Conversations are boring. They're usually all about what you did in the past. Or what you're going to do in the future. That's why I try to sabotage them only because I only remember bits of the past and the future is a great big grey smothering thing that smells like carpet glue.
2. I have an extreme dislike of octopus. Living anyways, I'd have no problem eating them once somebody else took the life from them.
3. Three is the magic number,
4. WORRY IS THE PREOCCUPATION OF THE POWERLESS MIND
5. Octopus are highly intelligent, probably the most intelligent of any of the invertebrates, with their intelligence supposedly comparable to that of the average house cat.
6. My new song :

Miracle Chemist.
1 (chords to follow when I figure out what they are...Yes, yes someday I will write something serious but until then find the metaphor's and semaphores in this mama)

(acoustic guitar accompaniment)
sha la la la la la miracle chemist,
with your limited medical knowledge
but far superior book keeping skills
can you give me a non-prescription medicine
that will do a half arsed job of curing all my ills?

bridge type thing (calypso music/steel drums/ Jamaican accent)
He asks me what is wrong
and I show him me facial rash
he poke it with a pen and say
Well well, look at dat
the other girls at de counter
come to look at me crusty face
and one say to the other
i think we got some paste..

Chorus (guitar, violins, harpischord)
OH MIRACLE CHEMIST LOOK AT US
YOU MAKE ME SMILE DESPITE MY FACIAL CRUSTS
THE NON COMMITTAL ADVICE THAT YOU'VE JUST GIVEN ME
IS CHEAPER THAN WHATEVER I'D GET AT THE GP

and I'm too tired to go on. will edit if i can improve on this gem.

Flaming Lips / Bob Dylan - Nowlan Park, Kilkenny June 24

Never missing a Flaming Lips show in this country again, absolutely the best live band I've seen so far in my short life. Santas, Aliens, Giant Hands, Giant Spacemen, Confetti Cannons and a setlist of songs which are twice as good in front of an audience.

Could Bawb meet this band head on and deliver a class performance? I'm not up on giving a verdict on that because between acts I helped myself to a large portion of Cranberry Juice and Gin which took hold very very quickly and the rest of the night is a blur.







I remember certain songs - I also remember annoying some old guy who made the mistake of telling me that he had gone to see Dylan in Cafe Wha? in the early 60's. I probably told him about the photo below and wrecked his head for information while dancing like a fool.













This is Dylans Setlist for that gig

It's got a few personal favourites on it; Stuck inside of memphis, Summer Days and Absolutely Sweet Marie (arrr, now I remember screaming along to the 'six white horses' verse). Got talking to someone else before the encore and we were trying to outnerd each other with our Dylan knowlege. He'd been to see Dylan play in the 70's which I could'nt beat because I wasnt born and he also had a bob tattoo on his leg. Can't beat that either. But I can take a photo of it so I did...
















This is worth seeing as well; The flaming lips on the Jools Holland Show. If you dont get a kick out of this, you're just a jontas.
The W.A.N.D (The Will Always Negates Defeat)
Warpigs (Black Sabbath Cover)

"Sufficient lime to whitewash a chicken coop"

Something boring for when you're stuck for something interesting to say...

puts burning cd-r's into perspective

Perhaps it's got too easy....

Music Videos

Mobius Band - Loving sounds of static

primal scream : country girl
not really work friendly, reminds me of that prodigy video. you know the one.

JEU DE MAINS, JEU DE VILAINS

Trouble Sleeping?

• Wind down prior to bedtime
• Do not smoke (nicotine is a stimulant) or consume caffeine
• Try warm milk or a light snack before bed
(if this doesn’t interfere with another treatment you are using)
• Exercise daily, but not right before bedtime
• Take a warm bath, but not right before bedtime
• Keep a regular bedtime and rising time
• Get in the habit of going to bed when you are sleepy and sleeping where you sleep best
• Reserve your bed for sleeping only
• Don’t have any clocks visible to you
• Reduce the amount of time you allow yourself to sleep until you fall asleep easily (your health care provider can help with this form of “sleep restriction therapy”
• Schedule worry time during the day and put worries out of your head when it is time to sleep; you can write them down on 3×5 cards, and then let go of them
• Get up if you have not fallen asleep in 15 minutes and practice a relaxing activity (e.g. handwork, reading a boring book) until you feel sleepy

more here

Why its good to test your inventions first

"In 1912, Austrian tailor Franz Reichelt leaped from the observation deck of the Eiffel Tower in a combination overcoat-parachute of his own design. He expected to fly. He did not" I like the way they measure the crater he leaves behind.

Capgras Delusion

If you visit the Museum für Kommunikation somewhere in Germany you can see these sculptures. As a Roscommon native and daily answerer of phones I find this image speaks on many many levels.

Stupid Eurovision

Brilliant. When you were sick of the flapping drivel that is big brother, you could switch to the Eurovision Song Contest. Such bloody choice, I was beside myself with glee.

Ireland entry was a song called "Every Song Is A Cry For Love" Sung And Composed By Brian "Whine" Kennedy.

Whine started off his stupid career doing background vocals on van Morrison albums. His contributions have been ridiculed endlessly since these albums have been released as they form a profoundly low nadir in Van's career, and that's some claim considering how awful some of Van's output has been (I let him away with it because he did record Veedon Fleece which is one of the greatest albums ever in my humble opinion) anyways if you want a good laugh, buy the Van Morrison biography "Can you hear the silence" by Clinton Heylen. The mauling he gives Whine Kennedy is chucklesome.

ANYWAYS I DIGRESS THERE IS A WEBSITE FOR THESE RANTS : JOTW

Every Song Is A Cry For Love. Firstly, No they are bloody well not.
Songs which are not a cry for love you dolt.

1. The Black Angels Death Song by the velvet underground : Its about, I dunno. It does empty a room fast tho.
2. Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin : It's about the Vikings coming in their bloody big ships with sharp swords to hack the natives.
3. Stabwound by Necrophagist : It's about stabwounds, and the drumming cannot be done by a human. It just can't. Seriously, they must use some sort of machine.

So aha! Whine Kennedy; you did not win.
The world hates ballads unless they are sung by airbrushed nymphs half your age.
Is the eurovision the last desperate attempt to revive an ailing career?
Is there no song, either written by others or yourself that can save your wobblethroat from the obscurity that beacons?

Goodbye and goodnight.
Lets all move to Finland.

Big Brother = Hell on earth.

Sooo. molton knows how to have fun. Saturday night in watching television for the first time in a few months, knocking back bottles of delicious Brahma. I watch an hour of big brother because I don't want to be left out of conversations in work for the next few weeks.
It is the most harrowing hour of my life.

I have to endure:

*Stupid Blonde Girl throwing tantrums because she cant get bottled water, even though the water available in the house is double filtered
*Stupid guy in sailor hat having stupid fight with everyone over something stupid, i don't know what, not going to the theater or something then having a stupid cry in the bathroom all by himself.

Am I too old to understand this? Am I too male to understand this? I just wonder if this the best we can do after 4 million years of evolution. Big Brother UK brings up too many questions. Needless to say I'm not watching any more.
Read more about the scumbags here : AAAGH

I'm in the mooood for linking.

It's Friday and I spent two hours making an idiot of myself on Castle Wolfenstien : Enemy Territory.

I AM THE HEADSHOT MAGNET

Anyways, online gaming angst aside I thought I'd indulge myself with some wholesome web browsing for the rest of this delightful evening. These are the fruits of my labourz

umm. Art that says something, now there's an idea.


Calvin and Hobbes : Underrated


24

Zen wisdom...perhaps i should take heed

not the best of starts...

On 14th May 1980 ...
UK
The Number 1 single was:Johnny Logan - "What's Another Year"
The Number 1 album was:Boney M - "The Magic Of Boney M"
US
The Number 1 single was : Blondie - "Call me"
The Number 1 album was : Sky - Sky 2

durrrrr. not nice.

Nothing beats a good game of quizzlestick

I'm surprised nobody has noticed this already

Right. This is the cover of the lead off single from the new Morrissey album.
There he is lying on some rail tracks, checking to see if he'll catch the 12.30, har har har.
My problem however is that I'm pretty sure all trains deposit the contents of their toilets onto the tracks so if one looks not at all closely, one can see fragments of what has to be bogroll around poor old Mozzer.
At least the tune is good...

My New Favourite Site

Visit Monkeyfluids Blog - it's genius, they posts pictures
from Enid Blyton books with new captions

 

Love those album covers

I have to hear this album.
It must to be good music if he looks like that.

Mr Senile Monkey

It is my intent to write a series of MR SENILE MONKEY stories for children. They will be written in very simple english and maybe someday printed in a limited edition with cutesy drawings. Untill then, make do with Mr Senile Monkey’s bio…

Mr Senile Monkey is a 58 year old chimp who was born in the jungles of the Congo. One day when he was a just toddler he accidentally fell into a crate of bananas bound for consumption by the students of the Dublin business school in Ireland. (It was believed at the time that the Potassium in bananas was a necessary dietary supplement for the mind destined for a career in business.)
Mr Senile Monkey survived on the contents of the crate while in transit and quickly made his escape when it arrived in the schools kitchens. For the next 6 years he lived in the school, hiding in the attic, underneath the floorboards and in the ventilation, paying attention to the lessons and gradually becoming very adept at the main concept of what makes a successful businessperson; talking shite.
Shite is a subject very close to Mr Senile Monkeys heart, or rather his digestive system because as a monkey, he is naturally adept at being able to produce vast quantities of shite at short notice for everything from sealing cracks in the walls of his monkey home to using it as a defensive weapon.
When he was finally confident he had all the skills he needed and he could walk upright for sustained periods, he got himself a little suit made at Louis Copland, prepared a stunning CV and had several copies printed out on the finest linen paper. The sharp suit and classy paper were perfect at distracting prospective employers from his monkey like status and his verbal ranting was like a lullaby that put logic to sleep and he soon had a very well paid job.
Thus began a long career of doing as little as possible, covering offices in shite, throwing shite in the faces of colleagues at meetings and when all else failed, just shitting out the window.
Mr Senile Monkey in 2006. He knows retirement is six sweet years away and he is going to move back to the Congo with his wife (Mrs Senile Monkey, met during visit to the zoo in 1972, married happily since 1973). He is more determined than ever to make everybodys life a misery because he knows he can get away with it, as he always has.
He has become interested in computers in recent years, but doesn’t know nearly enough and gets frustrated easily, usually leading to him having a hearty shite all over the computer or on the keyboard. His mortal enemy is IT BOY who gets called up to 15 times a day with screams of “YOU IZ NOT DOING YUR JOB, YOU IZ SCREWING MY BRODUCTIVITY, BRODUCKTIVITTY IS EVERYTHING, I NEED TO PRO-DUCK!” Mr Senile monkey speaks in capitals. He is loud.
When IT BOY opens the door to mr senile monkey's office, he is often met with a greeting spray of warm shite but since he now holds open an umbrella in front of him when opening, Mr Senile Monkey has counteracted by creating a moulded spear of shite which he leaves to dry on his window sill to pierce the umbrella and with any luck IT boy’s flesh someday; He’s still working on the right fibre constituency.

I think kids everywhere would pay real money for
"BOOKS OF DELIGHT ABOUT A MONKEY WHO SHITES"
That ho' who wrote Harry Potter aint got Shite on me (and my monkey)
You heard it here first.

Because my primal therapy is frowned upon in polite housing estates at this time of night

..i do it in my blog!

aaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhh!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
arrrrrrrrrrgggggggggnnnnnnneeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
bbbaaaaassssssssttttttttttttaaaaarrrrrdddddooooza!
gggrrrrrrrrraaaaaaarrrrrrrraaaarrrrrrrrrrarrrrgh!

Typos are fun, when I'm not the one making them..

Seen this on teletext the other night. Still sounds like a rubbish film tho.

Keyhole is a genius

Good News Vs Bad News

Good News : Bob working on a new album

Bad news : Grandaddy splitting up

SCHLEEP

Wake up

Free software?!

link

Myspace is not your space

I had a quick look around myspace last week, threw together an experimental profile and spent an hour or two nosing around, basically trying to find out how many people from Roscommon were on it. Anyways I thought I had the profile deleted when I noticed I’d gotten no confirmation mail so I tried the site again this evening, it let me in and I found that I’d made lots of cool friends by not even trying! Complete strangers wanted to be my chum! One was even a good looking woman!! It must have been the profile photo or something. Anyways this random love-fest and communal well wishing is very creepy to me so I made damn sure I deleted myself out this time.

If Hell is other people then Myspace is like the eighth circle of hell – the first two ditches of the circle are reserved for seducers and flatterers if memory serves me correctly. I'm sticking with blogger. It's all one sided and I dont have to use my brutal social skills any more than is necessary.

random radio?

Auto Playlists

give it a few min to start..

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/drum.php

Another blog

Unusure Moore

I'm not sure where this is going myself. Basically keep it strange. Website to follow when i organize some webspace. It's time to worry, its time to ponder, it's time to find someone else to blame, its time to be unsure.

Profound question

Did Marc Bolan ever go bowling?

Another bullet from the pomposity pistol..

The superior man is never led into baseness or vulgarity through others opinions or wills to follow the community of interests with other people; regardless of all his interactions, he will always preserve his individuality.

I can't quote that one enough.

This always makes me smile.. 

New Mexico..

I just found out there's a US state called New Mexico. I didn't know that. It's been hiding there beside texas - and it has no officially recognized hate groups.. so New Mexico and North Dakota are like, the mellowest states in the US methinks.

LINKY