Recently completed for inclusion in the Athlone/Westmeath advetiser newspaper as part of my duties for theacidtestband. The fact that something this stupid was distributed around the county brings glee to me.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Spending a quiet afternoon in my smithy making shoes for ploughhorses.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
batman
Which living person do you most identify with?
whoever Michael Jackson harvests for spare organs these days.
Which trait do you most deplore in yourself?
my downright, outrageous pomposity
What is your greatest extravagance?
me Cashmere geansaí
What is your favourite journey?
I dont care as long as we take the scenic route and we can stop to pee when i need to.
On what occasion do you lie?
usually before I to go to sleep
Which living person do you most despise?
that idiot in the mirror
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
I thought i was in love once, but it turned out to be an epileptic fit.
When and where were you happiest?
Berlin, 1927. Heady days my friends, heady days.
Which talent would you most like to have?
The power to hypnotize goats whilst juggling chainsaws.
What is your current state of mind?
like a tornado ploughing through a jigsaw factory
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
being the first person in my tribe to develop opposing thumbs
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what do you think it would be?
david bowie's wonky eye
What is your most treasured possession?
my false sense of security
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
not being able to find the prozac tablets
What is your favourite occupation?
organ grinding
What is the quality you most like in a man?
manliness
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
daintiness
Who are your favourite writers?
whoever wrote the ann and barry books
What is your motto?
everything you are amounts to nothing in the end
compared to the usual drivel in it
http://www.athloneadvertiser.ie/index.php?aid=7415
i think i did well
