I write things like this down to distract myself from the other things that are a-gnawing me. I remember where i grew up the local radio station seemed to do nothing else all day except play advertisements; usually a blast of some funky muzak followed by one of the station dj's rambling on about whatever local business needed hyping up. Anyways in my own little magic world, the radio station blasts out stuff like the below all the time....
as always 'scuse spelling and grammar. and grandpa too.
Come see our Stunning Onions, Whispering Carrots...our cabbages are lost to history and our
beetroot will leave you speechless. Its moltons world of vegetables. 14 Squat Street,
Mullingar.
Are you dead yet! Are you dead yet! A'Course your not dead yet!! but you sure could use a
haircut! Get one at the artist formally known as prince barbers. Peter Cushing memorial
plaza, mullingar
Step over backwards into the future, aint you got a pet to neuter?, you might be the swot,
at the head of the class but oh no!! your doggy scratch-drags his ass! -
bring them all down to your local vet...and who's your local vet? Why, its Dr Klaaus
Belfsaber on paradox alley mullingar
YOUR LOCAL TD, SATURN McMANUS WILL BE HOLDING A CLINIC IN THE TOWN PYRAMID AT THE FOLLOWING DATES....*tomorrow*.....PLEASE BRING ANY LOCAL ISSUES AND WHATEVER SMALL GIFTS YOU CAN AFFORD FOR BURNING IN THE VOTIVE FIRE BY MID DAY.
This week in the tesco headshop we totally has the gear that gonna get you loaded for the weekend yea? special deals include 2 for 1 on bongs, free vics inhaler with every bag of sno blow to keep that feeling of having just snorted vaporub lasting all night long and you'll be seeing double clubcard points if you buy from our value salvia range...you dont get the extra points but...yea, you know yourself. Tesco headshops..every little helps.
ITS THE NEW YEAR...AND YOU'RE A WOMAN! ITS TIME TO TAKE THE LEAP OF FAT AND HEAD ON OVER TO EAGER BEAVERS GYM. HERE AT EAGER BEAVERS GYM WE'RE SET UP ON THE OUTSIDE OF TOWN SO THE ONLY PEOPLE YOU'LL MEET ARE OTHER INSECURE WOMEN JUST LIKE YOU! WE GOT SOME BOXES TO STAND UP AND DOWN ON IF YOU WANT AND A HIFI WITH BANANARAMA TAPES BECAUSE WE KNOW THEY WERE THE BAND THAT FINALLY MADE YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GETTING TOO OLD TO KEEP UP BECAUSE YOU WERE NOTHING SPECIAL AND SOON YOU'D JUST END UP STEPPING ON WHATEVER FATE HAD SHIT OUT BEHIND IT ON THE PAVEMENT AND LET IT OOZE INTO EVERY CREVICE AND OVERWHELM YOU WITH ITS GROWING STENCH OVER THE YEARS UNTIL YOU FIND YOURSELF WAKING EACH MORNING AND KILLING OFF THE HOPE OF THE WARM SUN SHINING IN THE WINDOW BY TELLING YOURSELF THAT IT DOES NOT MATTER TO YOU BECAUSE YOU HAD NOTHING TO WAKE FOR IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO COME AND MOVE ABOUT FOR A WHILE AND GENERALLY GET TO FEEL BETTER BECAUSE HEY, ITS ALL IN YOUR MIND. DON'T FORGET TO BRrrrrrrING MONEY!.
